Corrupt a Wish

Granted, you died obtaining the perfect skin and now you're encased in ice on a display somewhere in the world

I wish to become single

 

But aren't you already single? Excuse me, pardon my rudeness, uh
Granted, but each and every one of your exes now revolve around you

I wish to recieve an unlimited supply of pringles, any flavour I want, each year

 

Granted but you can't walk because you are obessed from too much consumption of pringles,as a result you wear diapers.xD

I wish to live in the woods peacefully where nature doesn't disturb me and abundant supply of food.

 

Granted, but you turn into a monkey

I wish to learn to tap-dance

 

Granted, but you can't and don't know any other dances

I wish for eternal youth

 

granted, but you're a rock

I wish to know what the dog doing

 

Granted but you get admitted for a brain surgery

I wish people stopped replying to me

 

Granted, but I am the exception
I wish for an unexpected surge of wealth in my bank account

 

Granted, but you'll be in jail till the IRS can figure out where the money came from.

I wish for a pet Artic Fox

 

Granted but you got scammed off all your money and properties

I wish to have smooth and silky and shiny hair~

 

granted, but it's leg hair.

I wish to never get sick

 

Granted, you now live in a white room isolated from society for the rest of your life

I wish to get paid doing nothing

 

granted, you become a vegetable

I wish to fly to some tropical country

 

Granted but you get malaria from the mosquitoes

I wish to buy new clothes

 

Granted, but it's the Emperor's new clothes kind of deal. E.g. you are naked and you paid a lot of money for it. But you deluded yourself you are not naked.

I wish to drink some of the finest wine in the world

 

Granted, you're now millions in debt but know the taste of fine wine

I wish for the ability to read minds

 

Granted, but you are now not sapient

I wish to see the most beautiful art piece in the world

 

Granted, but now you are blind after seeing it.
I wish for unlimited wifi connection anywhere, anytime

 

Granted, you're now connected without internet for life

I wish for an all expenses covered week long resort at a 5 star hotel

 

granted, but you do not enjoy it.

I wish to know the secret recipe for a crabby patty