I have been writing a story (for my own entertainment entirely) and I want to know how my smut scenes are. And can you give me any tips to get better? I feel sort of ashamed to do this >////< https://www.webnovel.com/book/playi...668064206776605/ch--unknown_55573160690509335 oh, forgot to mention, anyone who is uncomfortable with male yandere or (kind of) forced relationship is advised not to read it :3
It actually good. There are missing of capital letter when they talk. Other than That I don't think there are something missing. (~ w ~). There are some mystery too about there identity in the chapter but it is good. As it act like good attraction.
You're missing capitalization. The train of thought needs to be like a stream of water. Having said that, its a pretty bold first attempt. To even write and seek suggestions, you're amazing! I'm sure that you will get better with practice.